12 weeks

It was a Sunday when I took that test,

Two lines appeared on a stick,

I was shocked and in disbelief,

To be honest, I felt a bit sick.

My mind rushed about my body and life,

I kept thinking about what this would mean for me,

I’m sad to admit you were scary,

More scary than I thought you would be.

But then I found you were size of a blueberry,

And suddenly I burst into tears,

You were real, small and fragile,

And I had wanted you for years.

I  thought about you there within me,

I thought about being your mum,

I thought about how lucky I was,

Because at times, I didn’t think this day would come.

You have changed me already,

And I’m only 12 weeks through,

I have put my health first,

Because that’s what you need me to do.

I want you to be happy and healthy,

I’m impatient to know if you’ll be like me,

I want you to know at first I was scared and selfish,

But you changed that almost instantly.

I want you to be here already,

Partly as pregnancy is tough,

But mainly because I can’t wait to love you,

I really hope I’m enough.

I often sit and night and hold you,

I wonder if you know I’m thinking of you,

Please don’t be scared or lonely,

You are forever my little baby blue.